(This is a parody/comedy song created for entertainment purposes only.)
Breathing in the bathtub
Midwife with a blue glove
Calling out my name
“Lay back if you can now
Let’s begin the countdown”
No, it’s not a game
I’m in granny nightdress
Sweating through the process
Trying not to drown
Thought I’d feel empowered
Now I just feel mascara
Sliding from face to ground.
Let’s do the pushing game
Chorus
It’s pain, it’s pain, it’s all so bright
Flashing tunnel light
I scream but that’s just fine
Heaven is so close it’s full of grace
I met God there… Thanked him, and slapped His face
I lost my shame and half my hair
But hey, there’s Snickers there.
Swingin’ on the drip stand
Grab my poor confused man
“did you get your keys?”
Midwife says, “It’s showtime”
Wish I had a lifeline
Or at least a beer
I skipped all those classes
Trusted TikTok masses
Please, tell me how to breathe?
I shout, “I changed my mind now!”
She laughs, “Too late, it’s time now”
And stares directly at my knees
Let’s play delivery
Chorus:
She’s here, she’s here, she looks at me
And now I finally see
Why women lose their minds
Heaven is this chaos in my arms
Tiny Pink alien with brown eyes.
Labour started in a VW
Best place is true.
It`s better than I ever even knew
On a back seat you can build a baby too.
For this you dont need driving license, is true/
Baby now you two.